Post by jokeofdenmark on Sept 29, 2012 1:40:10 GMT -5
The goths had started drinking coffee every day at Benny's when they were very young, and years later they continued to sit there like time travelers from a past century. Most of the old wait staff had moved on. To what, Dylan neither knew nor cared. New staff would either greet them warily, which was mildly pleasing, or muster up a cheerful greeting, which would insight infinite resentment and pity for the delusion of happiness these victims of the world lived in; as well as annoyance. Eventually they wearied of the goths' disdain and black humor and grew increasingly laconic toward the teenagers who in their turn grew increasingly disinterested.
For ages there were four of them. Over time the youngest, Georgie, rebelled more and more, even against the other goths, on the path of all-important nonconformity. The others didn't see as much of him, but he would join them on occasion. Henrietta became despondent and busied herself with multiple jobs, endeavoring for sufficient funds to move out and away from her parents. Evan and Dylan, the only two who continued to go to Benny's on a regular basis, seemed to see Henrietta but once or twice a month, and Georgie even less often.
As a group things were more comfortable. They didn't have to be self-conscious, and what conversation was had flowed easily. There was no spotlight, no dreadful back-and-forth. Their community was the only good one they'd known, and together they felt relatively safe; though perhaps at times they would prefer to be doing their share of nothing alone.
Dylan was ambivalent about the reduction to Evan and himself. He admired Evan, and while he was glad for more of his time and attention he was often plagued with anxiety and painful self-awareness. Neither emotion was new, but he no longer had a reprieve. There were only rare moments--if Evan said something particularly funny or something Dylan took as a compliment, or when Evan formed a smile (or at least something somewhat resembling a smile)--that would alleviate the constant pain of life.
Dylan noticed a full cup of coffee which hadn't been there the moment before. He must have been so deep in thought he didn't notice it being set down. Excellent. He greeted it with a blank stare then daintily took it with the fingers of both hands and lifted it to the level of his chest. He paused, pretending to himself that he was giving it time to cool down, before taking a sip. It was scalding hot, but he didn't mind; in fact, he almost liked it that way. He gave Evan a look through his long bangs. The coffee was here, and for a moment Dylan felt almost nothing. "Yeah."
For ages there were four of them. Over time the youngest, Georgie, rebelled more and more, even against the other goths, on the path of all-important nonconformity. The others didn't see as much of him, but he would join them on occasion. Henrietta became despondent and busied herself with multiple jobs, endeavoring for sufficient funds to move out and away from her parents. Evan and Dylan, the only two who continued to go to Benny's on a regular basis, seemed to see Henrietta but once or twice a month, and Georgie even less often.
As a group things were more comfortable. They didn't have to be self-conscious, and what conversation was had flowed easily. There was no spotlight, no dreadful back-and-forth. Their community was the only good one they'd known, and together they felt relatively safe; though perhaps at times they would prefer to be doing their share of nothing alone.
Dylan was ambivalent about the reduction to Evan and himself. He admired Evan, and while he was glad for more of his time and attention he was often plagued with anxiety and painful self-awareness. Neither emotion was new, but he no longer had a reprieve. There were only rare moments--if Evan said something particularly funny or something Dylan took as a compliment, or when Evan formed a smile (or at least something somewhat resembling a smile)--that would alleviate the constant pain of life.
Dylan noticed a full cup of coffee which hadn't been there the moment before. He must have been so deep in thought he didn't notice it being set down. Excellent. He greeted it with a blank stare then daintily took it with the fingers of both hands and lifted it to the level of his chest. He paused, pretending to himself that he was giving it time to cool down, before taking a sip. It was scalding hot, but he didn't mind; in fact, he almost liked it that way. He gave Evan a look through his long bangs. The coffee was here, and for a moment Dylan felt almost nothing. "Yeah."
