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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 5, 2012 21:56:10 GMT -5
Truthfully nothing about the evening was starting as romantically as Stan had pictured it. His own mental image of prom started with gut-wrenching anxiety that gradually increased to crippling levels as the time came closer and closer for him to drive the short distance down the street to pick Kyle up. The next step would be going to the door, knocking because --despite years of familiarity that allowed them to go into each other's houses without permission-- this night was special, and being absolutely struck dumb when the door opened he saw Kyle dressed up.
Stan's vision of prom continued in this stereotypically romantic cliche vein.
But there were reasons for them to go to prom which they both knew and had discussed; reasons for anxiety other than the good, butterfly-inducing one that would come from the anticipation of seeing Kyle. He didn't consider their relationship quite as secretive as when they'd started going out, but there was still a stark difference to being more lax and slow dancing with another dude in front of their entire class. Even in places less conservative than Colorado people were judgmental, and being teenagers made both this judgment and his perception of being judged heightened. So, instead of his cliche evening, he'd headed over to Kyle's house early, dressed casually with his suit left laid out on his own bed. This wasn't particularly unromantic even though it wasn't what he'd had in mind; it was always nice to spend time alone together.
"So...do you want to go to prom?" he asked a little abruptly as he sat down on Kyle's bed. It wasn't literally the last minute they had to decide whether they were actually, really going or not, there were still hours to get ready, but the conversation still felt concrete and final.
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Post by annanova on Jun 6, 2012 6:06:41 GMT -5
((can I join? ))
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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 6, 2012 11:45:46 GMT -5
((Yeah! ))
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Post by annanova on Jun 6, 2012 15:58:19 GMT -5
Kyle, who was standing at the desk by his window and shuffling a few school papers, laughed brightly. He shook his head softly, crimson curls bouncing against his cheeks. "So you ask me now? With prom only a few hours away?"
He wasn't upset, and it showed in his smile. Stan was romantic in the oddest ways, and the redhead loved him for it. He supposed going to prom would be a bit terrifying; they had been dating for a while but there was definitely a difference between dating and holding the other in a slow dance. But besides the normal anxieties set by every couple, he'd have to deal with coming out.
A few people knew about the pair, but again, knowing and seeing them laced together on a dance floor were completely different. And in his heart of hearts he just wanted to be left alone. If no one spoke to them the entire night he wouldn't mind it because that would be better than being persecuted.
Kyle stopped that train of thoughts. He reminded himself that he needed to focus less on what horrible things may or (most likely) may not happen, and instead enjoy the fact that Stan wanted to attend senior prom with him.
"I'd love to go." He added quietly and slid to his bed, sitting next to Stan and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "I just wish you told me earlier," he laughed. He was mostly embarrassed because his mother had insisted he wore the same suit he wore on his bar mitzvah and therefore just about every school dance. Although thankfully she agreed to rent a new suit and retire the old ratty thing, Kyle would probably be stuck with his old yamaka.
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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 7, 2012 1:04:28 GMT -5
"Sorry," Stan answered, though he mirrored Kyle's smile with his own. His own doubts about what would happen remained sharp in his mind, but Kyle didn't seem to have any and he didn't want to talk the other boy out of going. He wanted to go with Kyle, after all. Just the same, he'd never had Kyle's knack for confrontation, and he'd always caved to conformity more easily. His problem was typical of kids his age: he'd always hated being seen as 'average', but his fear of sticking out from his peers was just as great.
He hugged Kyle around the waist, drawing him in closer. "I've never danced with a dude before," he continued nervously. He'd never done anything with a boy before Kyle; everything they had together was new. This, too, was part of why he was always more restrained with Kyle in public than he'd ever been with Wendy. It was not only because of their voluntary secrecy, or what other people would think, but because it felt so different from being with a girl. More different than it ought to have, his own perception shaped by the town they grew up in, by prejudices around them, and by his own teenage inexperience. It sometimes felt like his masculinity depended upon this being kept private, where no one could see it.
He crushed his worries down and pressed a quick kiss against Kyle's lips. Instead he focused on the excitement of it. It would be good to have Kyle so close to him, enjoying something every high school couple ought to. "Do you want to practice before we go?"
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Post by annanova on Jun 7, 2012 20:34:28 GMT -5
"Stan, you're such a dork," Kyle teased and pressed his forehead against the other's, nocking him slightly. Honestly, he was nervous about the dancing part as well. After all, Jews couldn't exactly keep their sense of rhythm. The most embarrassing thing he could think of would be to stomp all over Stan's feet like some clumsy oaf. But practicing wouldn't change anything. In fact it might take away from how beautiful their first dance would be.
"And I've never danced with a guy before either." Kyle admitted softly. In fact, just about everything he'd done with Stan was a first and he liked it that way. After all, Stan was his first best friend so it only made sense that he'd be his first kiss, first date and first dance.
"But I think I'll like it." He murmured and bit the corner of his lip. He ran his hand's through Stan's hair, and kissed his lips softly. He didn't kiss him deeply, mostly because kissing Stan always made his heart jump so much he worried that he'd faint. Instead he just brushed their lips against each other and caressed Stan's face.
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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 7, 2012 22:44:31 GMT -5
"Yeah, I will, too," Stan answered decisively. He raised his hand to cover Kyle's, stilling it against his face. It was nice to just be like this together, and Kyle's confidence made it easier be unconcerned about what would happen later that night and focus on the regular nervousness of dancing. He didn't even mind that Kyle had teased him for the suggestion they practice together now; the worst that would come of it would be that people would make fun of their shit dancing, which was a step up from how he'd expected people to rag on them moments before. Logically even that would be ignored, as everyone would hopefully be too wrapped up in their own dates to pay them any mind.
He shifted a little closer. "How long do you think your mom will let you stay out?" he asked. Stan had to do worse than staying out until early morning to get in trouble with his parents, but the Broflovskis had always been more protective. It was somewhat endearing-- he knew his parents cared for him, but he was sometimes jealous of Kyle's home life, from the family's stability to Mrs. Broflovski's smothering nature-- but it was also annoying when it came to getting time alone with his boyfriend.
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Post by annanova on Jun 8, 2012 22:09:33 GMT -5
"Not that long," He muttered under his breath. Kyle loved his mother -- well he did most of the time. But she had him and his brother on a tight leash and hadn't loosened it a bit since he was ten. He still had a curfew, and although he technically turned eighteen in two weeks, he knew that her rules would never change. In fact, he was certain that he'd still have to obey her in college. "I'll probably have to be back by the time prom ends. But I guess I could just tell her I'm coming over here to stay the night."
He'd stayed the night with Stan even now when they were together. Of course his mother didn't know and if she ever found out she'd probably circumcise him all over again. It wasn't as if they did anything, in fact, at first Stan hadn't even wanted to hold him because he didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
The redhead was still a virgin, and though he didn't plan to be for the rest of his life, at this moment he was fine with his sexual life. So he could push any guilt he previously had about secretly dating Stan out of his mind. "Though I guess that all depends on how long you want me here," he added and leaned forward to meet the other halfway.
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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 9, 2012 1:23:11 GMT -5
"All night sounds good," Stan agreed, smiling as he met Kyle's lips with his own. There were possibly implications about spending prom night alone together, more so even than there was any other night. But there hadn't been any real pressure building up to when they'd become more intimate with each other. Their relationship was easy and comfortable, and if anything happened later in the night it would be because it felt right at the time, not because of any pre-made expectations.
"We should enjoy tonight, before your mom hears what huge fags we are." Even if no one commented on their dancing together while they were at prom, he had no doubt that it was the sort of thing that would get back to their parents later on. It was a small town and gossip got around. He considered this for a second and touched their foreheads together. It wasn't exactly better to hide everything from them, but it felt easier to do so. He hardly expected to be kicked out of the house over dating Kyle; while his dad had warned him on occasion of seeming 'funny' or too queer with the other boy, neither of his parents were so homophobic he was afraid to tell them. In his case it was simply a conversation he wanted to avoid having, but he had no idea how Kyle felt on the subject. "Do you want to tell our parents before we go? Or should we lie and say we're going stag?"
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Post by annanova on Jun 9, 2012 22:35:25 GMT -5
"I think it's going to be scary enough without coming out of the closet." Kyle admitted with a blush after his boyfriend kissed him. No matter how many times Stan would ever kiss him Kyle was positive he'd still get the butterflies in his stomach, the blood in his cheeks and the wobbly knees that accompanied him.
"Anyway, I don't think that my mom would believe any of the people talking about us. I think she'd assume that they were just starting shit. I mean, she thinks we're just together so much because we're leaving for college soon." At that the redhead tightened his hands around the other's neck and held him closely.
He couldn't think of a time without Stan. And although they were planning on going somewhere together, he knew that would upset his mother. Stan couldn't get into a college as prestigious as Kyle could, and Sheila would accuse Kyle of giving up his future if he decided to join him. But He had always been by Stan's side and thinking of that changing was terrifying.
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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 18, 2012 21:15:29 GMT -5
"Yeah, you're probably right," Stan agreed. His mom would probably dismiss it, too, unless it became overwhelmingly prevalent. His dad, however, was the kind of person that latched onto any gossip. He was a decent liar and didn't think he'd be found out if he told his dad that no, he and Kyle weren't doing anything, but this was something he neither really wanted to be honest about nor wanted to lie about. He sighed. "When do you want to tell them?"
"Our parents, I mean," he added after a beat. Realizing again that regardless of whether their parents believed them or not, they were as good as coming out to their peers, he continued before Kyle could answer, "And how are we going to handle if some kid asks us about dancing together? Do you want to tell them we're gay, or should we just make like we were joking around?" He gave a small, weak smile, embarrassed that he couldn't keep himself from being high-strung about this. He liked to consider himself the calmer one of the two of them, and he usually felt secure enough in his role in their school and group of friends that he didn't care what others thought of him; this sort of exposure just felt strange and new. He felt more vulnerable doing this than he had in a long time.
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Post by annanova on Jun 19, 2012 21:53:27 GMT -5
"Well, I mean... a lot of your friends are a bit..." Kyle struggled for words, cursing his articulacy. Stan had grown closer to the football team over the year and due to the fact that he became quarterback and earned that position. Along with it he earned the affection of many, many classmates. Stan was popular and although Kyle had friends no one admired him that much.
"I just don't want you to lose everyone you like." There was no doubt in Kyle's head that the other students immaturity would work against them. He wrapped his arms around Stan. "But I don't like the idea of us being a joke. Any of it. Even when you don't mean it it kind of makes my stomach flip."
He sighed. "And even thinking about telling my mom makes my adrenaline rush. I'm so scared that she'll hate us being together. And then you might decide to second think us."
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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 20, 2012 22:16:02 GMT -5
"Yeah." Stan let his hands settle loosely on Kyle's hips. His friends did lean towards being conservative, and there definitely was a stigma against gay athletes. Still, if he were to think about it, he thought his higher social standing would work for him rather than against him. At least he hoped the larger opportunity for support would soften the blow against any mocking. "Dude if my friends get pissed 'cause I'm with you, they weren't that awesome to begin with, so...we can tell them the truth." Stan sighed and rested his forehead against Kyle's. "I do care about what your mom thinks, but she'll come around if she's not cool with it right away. Same with my dad; he's been telling me how not to look 'funny' with you for years, but he'll warm up to it." He smiled softly. "I won't second-guess this...will you?"
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Post by annanova on Jun 21, 2012 21:39:43 GMT -5
"Well, I kind of have to agree with you now don't I?" Kyle asked with a goofy grin. In reality he was much more susceptible to wanting everyone to approve of him than Stan was. Especially when it came to his mother. Gerald was easy going and he didn't really dislike or like anything so far as to make a big deal out of it.
However Sheila was just like her son and therefore just about everything was a huge deal. THey both stuck to their ideas and were stubborn to the end. Besides this, Sheila needed her reputation to stay untarnished and if her son was gay, it might not look the best. "I mean... I'll still feel the same way about you, no matter what happens. I don't think anything can change the way I feel about you but... I don't want my mother to be angry with me. And besides that... maybe, if she doesn't want us to be together, there's a reason."
He sighed and bit his lip. "But this is all just assuming that my mom won't like this. We can't say anything until we know what's going to happen. And we won't know until we come out."
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Post by cobroncos7 on Jun 22, 2012 0:24:27 GMT -5
"Well... she's not that bigoted," Stan said, not wanting to put it in a worse way, namely that the thing Kyle's mom got most bitchy about was injustice towards others. "If she was really pissed about it, the reason would probably be because I'm not good enough for you." He wasn't particularly hurt by this idea; Kyle's family was one of high-achieving perfectionists. He was, however, hurt by the thought that Kyle would think his mom's disapproval was valid for whatever reason. "I mean, I don't get straight A's, I've come home totally wasted, my mom probably tells her all the other dumb shit I do," he said in a forcibly teasing voice, trying to be light-hearted about it, "You're totally slumming it with me."
"Just don't break up with me right away if she does get pissed," he continued after a beat, more seriously. "I want this to work even if everyone hates that we're complete fags. And I don't think--well. I know we couldn't just be friends, after we were gay for each other and everything, so it'd suck even more if you dumped me just 'cause of something your mom said. So if she does get mad about it, just give me a chance to fix it first before you decide she's right, okay?"
He dropped his hands from Kyle's hips, disentangling himself from the other boy as best as he could. He didn't really want to hear Kyle's answer, so he finished, "Sorry. You're right. Let's talk about something else, we can worry about that later."
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